And So I Decided to Quit Smoking….
I woke up this morning after getting what I consider to be a good nights sleep (more than 4 hours uninterrupted) and for the better part of this morning found myself in a severe funk. Not so much angry but full of anxiety and maybe a touch of depression and a whoooole lot of that frustration thing. It seemed like everything just frustrated me, for the first morning in a while I even slacked on making breakfast which is just not like me.
Granted, I have a lot to have anxiety about with the recent job applications / interviews and everything else going on with my life and add into that PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) and I’m already a ball of stress. So like an idiot a few days ago I decided to quit smoking….. I’ve got lozenges (almost out) and a stack of patches (never really worked) along with tins of flavored toothpicks (probably going to be crapping splinters for a while) but the edge still comes and goes. What the hell was I thinking?
I’ve got a good support system in place but it’s still difficult and so now I suppose I’ll rant about it. Just after noonish I decided to indulge in one of my favorite dishes to eat as well as cook (and don’t laugh, it’s a big deal) a big bowl of Ramen (Or in the Hawaiian culture “Saimen”). Just the time it took me to prepare it, my focus on chopping the vegetables, frying the perfect egg, simmering the pork to make the perfect broth, mixing my own seasoning blend, and putting it all together made me feel better.
Eating it in traditional style (quickly, slurping as to cool the noodles and unlock the broth flavor) gave me a sense of calm and happiness that I have been missing the last few days. Now some might think “healthy living is in the title, isn’t Ramen horrible for you?” NO! If done right it’s a very nutritious dish not to mention a very fulfilling one to explore. A quick google search on traditional Ramen houses will yield a very interesting culture and a whole new world built around this wonderful part of my life.
Unfortunately throughout the rest of the day I lapsed in and out of the anxiety over and over, at the beginning of this post I was feeling it with a heavy edge to my demeanor overall. By the time of this paragraph I am finding myself a touch less on edge and feeling better overall. I know the nicotine and the overall habit will pass with time and I just need to hang in there. I know my health will only get better and I will be able to extend my hiking enjoyment by sacrificing my smoking habit. And then there’s that whole money thing, I sat down on day one and started calculating the cost of my smoking over a years time ($2445.00 a year on average).
Just uhm, wow! So $203 a month on the low side that’s insanity considering all it does is appease a self imposed edginess from starting up in the first place. So, wish me luck and I hope I can keep this up! I’ll keep everyone updated!