Opportunity Doesn’t Just Knock

Sometimes it bangs….

So it’s been a long while since my last posting, pooch and I have been quite busy but in really good ways. We’re both healthy and active and life really isn’t so bad in our little corner of life! Lots of hiking and attempts to herd everything from children to heavy equipment (explaining to a border collie why she shouldn’t attempt to herd excavators is something I never expected to have to do).

I have been presented an opportunity to pack up and spend several months in another state (another world almost) helping a close friend by fixing up a property. It’s a secluded and wooded area which honestly appeals to me and well, I am absolutely certain pupster would be in heaven.While much of my recent absence from writing has been pooch and general life related a lot of it has been simply that all of my free time has been consumed taking inventory of my material possessions and deciding what is actually important enough to keep.

This opportunity was presented a couple of months ago and I have decided after much deliberation to try and make it happen.

Am I nervous? Yes! Am I excited? Yes! Am I afraid? For some reason not at all!

I have taken many steps to ensure some semblance of sanity while disappearing halfway across the country with little guaranteed other than room and board and some hard work. I’ve contacted employers in the area and after months of deliberation I am going to do my best to make this adventure happen.

There are a few dozen reasons to go but very few reasons to not, it’s short term when really examined and as far as sobriety goes it’s a great thing. This friend has been a solid source of support for years, recovery focused and honestly I would be in the middle of nowhere!! Yet close enough to the wonderful temperate waters of the pacific coast!!

See, if you haven’t known me for long you may not know but I have an especially strong attraction to plankton and marine snails! The opportunity to spend my free time directly handling and studying species in real time that I have spent years reading papers about is akin to winning the biological lottery for me.

I have a plankton tattoo, I’ve spent years staring through microscopes in my makeshift home lab, hours and hours taking notes, reading papers that for all purposes no hobbyist really cares about. I’m a geek and the thought of being able to capture and study my favorite subjects live in real time while the pupster can openly run and be herself is amazing.

My girly gurl can run!! And I get to geek out both in the forest and on the coast! I would be an idiot to not take the chance??!! Is this a midlife crisis? Maybe, but I always told myself two things:

  1. I would never leave Colorado
  2. When I do finally snap, I’ll snap good!

Well, number 2 is about to kick number 1 right out on its ass. I have many other things going on, a partner in crime will be going with, someone I’ve known for around 20 ish years, someone I trust.

I know much of this seems very vague and that is on purpose as I have no intention of mentioning things that are not set in stone. Rest assured I will be okay, I’m a tough cookie! I’m also incredibly blessed and always have been, for all purposes I should have never made it past 18 let alone grow old enough to have the opportunity to attempt explaining to a generation several generations from my self denied gen X what a pay phone or laser disc or mix tape is! Hah so this is what my mom and grandparents go through…. I’ve been lucky for all my life, it’s time to take a chance and help my friends!

Time to go run the game trail we will be leaving soon in favor of forest, hills, natural springs, and the unknown. I’ve always cling to the familiar; it’s time I took a chance and jumped into life, I had a close friend tell me years ago while visiting me in rehab not to be afraid of life. Today I’m not afraid.

“Oh, dear beyond our dearest dreams, Fairer than all fairest seems! To feast the rosy hours away, To revel in a roundelay! How blest would be a life so free”

(Lewis Carroll, Sylvie and Bruno”

“Don’t be afraid of life Joe”

~J

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Simplicity Defined

I came home to two of my most favorite things!!  A cup of tea and a pooch that loves me no matter what.

After chomping down some leftover pizza (if your ever in colo springs on the west side I highly recommend fat boys pizza its just great!) I found myself asleep in the dog bed with the dog.  If I were to recommend anything to anyone it’s going to sound stupid.  I’m the one white person attending an all black church, do this I’ve found home!  I hate rap now.

I spent my free time on stupid things, a haircut!!! clipped hair from an actual barber took an hour or such.  I love it, I look great and every hair on my head is perfect go see a barber!  A haircut and a cup of tea.  I’m happy with this, lately things seem to go south as soon as I open my eyes.  No visitors for good now dreams worthwhile nothing if I move somethings gotta hurt.  Pooch is the only reason I keep going now and she’s a good reason!!

So it’s breakfast and a run for me and my gurl, my reminder that even a rough life has it’s choices and reasons to smile!

Smile on friends, your loved

~J

 

No Resort?

So, I see these commercials for resort getaways.  All these wonderful vacations away from life and the only thing I can think is how nice it would be if I could actually find one.  Every one of my sanctuaries is in flux due to either personal differences or new people or whatever.  This is a bad BAD place for someone in my situation to be in.

I find myself so angry I am on the cusp of violently reacting, not so much physical but I do know I am good with words and can argue a point in a very attacking manner.  Hrmm good with words, I refuse to believe it most of the time as I really just speak my mind.  What do you do when you cannot control others?

Hrmm cannot control others, as if I’m some magical genie from a lamp or king in the 14th century.  The reality is we all live as human beings and I must respect that (why is it that being and weird do not obey the I before E law?).  I cannot hold it against a person for having his/her own views, I *Can* however hold them responsive for those views.  We all have our own glasses we wear so who am I to make a judgement call?

Get over your weak opinions for once and thicken your skin.  Just because someone disagrees with you or calls you a bad name does not make that person uniquely bad, it may just be the heat of battle.. Fight fair and fight with tools, if you lack the tools maybe look at the why.

no exit on this one

 

!J

 

Of Pooches an Christmas 

When I was 6-9 years old I remember Christmas Eve as wonderful yet brutal.  Oh the waiting….

In 3 and a half hours I meet and hopefully take home my next pooch.  Mind you this will be interview 9 for the perfect fit thus far I’ve met some great pups but none fit.  Is not fair to either pooch or myself to go whilly nilly.  But “Abe” from what I can tell so far is perfect.  I’ve been waiting all week for this meet and I’m excited.

I’ve everything ready…. food… treats…. a friend whose a local vet for shots and all I even cleared the boxes out so pooch would have room!!  Fresh sheets on the bed and I took a couple of days off to be home and reduce his stress I’m counting minutes!

May the pooch fit into my strange world!!

~J

Coffee and a New Belt Buckle

I sit here this morning musing over things waiting for my paper which is of course late arrrrgh and I should be angry about it but not so much.  I got a fancy James Dean belt buckle this weekend from a shop nearby called the LeechPit (lots of vintage stuff!!).  So today I get to sport a Dean buckle depicting a scene from Giant which was an amazing performance by Dean if you get the chance.

So coffee good, buckle great, paper late, life… not so bad.  And there is the ceremonial “thump” of my paper!!!  YAY!

~J

HARIBO!!!

Today was a long shift, and it doesn’t appear that it’s going to let up anytime soon which for me right now is a very very good thing.  I’m booked for 12 hour shifts all this week and through the weekend and on to Monday.  The job isn’t really exciting to speak of, being on the phone doing political polls but every once in a while I get a fun call.  It’s funny to think about but I seriously get paid to ask people how they feel about Trumps use of twitter as Balky would say “What a country”.

A few of my coworkers are absolutely great though, today during my lunch a gal asked me for a ride down the street to the gas station so she would have time to eat I wanted a hot dog anyhow so why not.  She bought me a bag of gummy bears!!!  Ordinarily I wouldn’t get excited but… gummy bears!!  Usually if someone gives me something it’s either a hard time or a poke in the eye.  We were talking about her husband who does iron sculpture and the random topic of my gummy bear art came up.  lol I guess I need to dig deep and come up with something creative now.

anywho not much else to report… I worked, I’m home… and now I’m going to figure out what I want to eat.

~J

Free Pizza Friday 

Today was pay day and I decided to treat myself on the way home from work by stopping at a gas station/convenience store on the way home for a cheap pair of pizzas.    Every Friday pizzas are buy one get one free so $15 later I’m driving home with two very well stuffed pies and a 64oz cup of soda I probably shouldn’t have.

This all of course made me laugh as I stuffed as many condiment packets as I could in my pockets (hey I’m broke salsa and mustard cost money) and retired to my kitchen to chomp on some pretty damn good pizza.

I have my next 4 meals which should get me through most of tomorrow save breakfast where I will do my usual taters and eggs.  Have long shifts through the weekend and week with no complaints this pay period was more of a catch up but if work sustains I might actually get somewhere!!

And all I had to do was show up.  The next two weeks might be rough but after the next check things will lighten just a little bit then two weeks later maybe a little more.  

One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that typically if everything happens at once it’s usually a bad sign.  Real progress happens incrementally and I have to accept that.  I have a great deal an army even of people supporting me in areas of my life all the way to what I think I should eat tomorrow the only thing I truly lack in this life is patience.

I waited for two pizzas why can’t I wait for a better next two weeks??  I feel like I might sleep tonight and that is an amazing accomplishment even if I don’t sleep just the feeling of peace (and pizza) I waited a half hour for two pies hand made from a gal that cared about her job what’s another few weeks?

Pizza lady, awesome job!!

~J

Waiting for a Shooting Star!

Today I did a job interview, tomorrow I have three, and still I am waiting.

Friday I interviewed for my dream not just in career but personal achievement and it’s a long shot but I took the shot. I follow up tomorrow and cannot publicly post much more but for those of you reading that know me personally this is a big deal.

Why continue interviewing when the most amazing opportunity has presented itself?  I’m hedging my bets for every chance this may happen there is a chance it won’t.  I have been blessed by karma or whatever it is up there for a very long time I don’t expect it to keep holding me afloat forever.

I’m nervous in a way I don’t think I have ever been, this is not some upscale position With vast pay and a private jet it is simple.  A simple position doing something that I am incredibly passionate about.  A simple dinner of grilled cheese followed by lying in the grass catching a glimpse of Thai shooting star.

With luck I will be able to latch onto the tail for the ride of my life.

More details later for now it’s a wait.

~j