Family Time for Introspection

Got home last night after spending two days with my Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, and Cousin’s friends.  A great time for me as this is part of the support system that I have been blessed with.  I’ve been emotionally and mentally “off” in the past several days and while I hadn’t quite admitted it.  Not to others or probably more importantly not to myself.

I’m currently in a mental world where I have a few decisions to make, decisions I thought would never come to me.  None of these decisions are inherently bad just…  nuanced.  I was able to spend some time with our rag tag group discussing some of such decisions.  I also reached out to a chosen few friends for some advice and worked a couple of my “tools” on the subjects with some good results.  I will continue to work my tools and explore these thoughts until I have reached a comfortable place.

The good in life typically does not come from having balance but rather from returning to balance.

A very wise friend in the above group stated to me last night during a discussion that the good in life typically does not come from having balance but rather from returning to balance.  After discussing I honestly agree with this statement, returning to balance is a welcomed good feeling and often comes with a self examination recounting things that may have gone.

My sleep is still nowhere near where I would like it but after taking action on these items in my life needing decision and change I feel much more serene and prepared to face things in front of me.  Another discussion with a different friend resulted in advice to view myself in each situation I might end up in after a decision in a yes situation for a few days, and then in a no situation for some time, take some notes and compare.

Often while discussing emotions it becomes human nature to respond with “me too” and while a bit of that did happen for the most part I received solid input.  I value these people and the input I receive from them.  If I were to sum things up in a short statement it would read “I opened up and gained introspection”.  I’m not unhappy with the situation at all today and need to make more efforts to ask.

~J

 

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Insomniac Ramblings Pt. 1

Because sleep is just a luxury…

I’ve had quite the interesting day uhm…. well yesterday at this point!  For all purposes I should be fast asleep in a near coma given the planned and unplanned exercise I was so graciously blessed with from the pooch.  Two planned runs on the trail behind the property to continue practicing our recall command (dog should return to me immediately upon receiving the command) back and forth several miles each run.  I began to get very proud of Elsa and maybe a little too proud of myself as she obeyed the recall without fail every time.

Mommy sent a gift card for Elsa from Amazon so we settled in and spent some time picking out some training treats, a clicker and other goodies, and a wonderful saddlebag harness in hot pink (she’s such a diva!)!  Click click… alright it’s evening we better get out for a potty before dinner as I had an online meeting at 6:30, the time was around 5:40.  Admiring my confidence in our recall abilities I subconsciously made the decision not to leash up.

~Deer~  ~It took less than 2 minutes for Elsa…. to disappear~

Colorado is a beautiful place, the area where my apartment building sits is surrounded by open land and wildlife is not exactly a rarity by any means.  Deer, 4 does grazing in our yard….  I love my Border Collie mix for her activity level and her mental capabilities, oh yea and that herding quality that is so funny to watch when she tries to herd the neighbors or the apartment maintenance guy.  It took less than 2 minutes for Elsa and the herd that she was watching to disappear.  A half our or so of jogging around calling and looking I finally gave up and started back hoping some kind soul would read her tag and call my cell or I would get a call based on her chip.

As I neared the edge of the open space to cross the street to the building I was greeted by a black lab and his owner who said he would keep an eye out and as I was just about to leave here comes this happy go lucky brown and white lightning bolt popping up over the hill at break neck speed to my side proudly about a job well done.  Okay, I’ll admit it took me a few minutes to relax and not blame her as it was my fault for not being cognizant of the time and the traits of my wonderful Elsa.

I posted a reminder note to myself on the door as somewhat of a self training tool and we proceeded to have our dinner while I attempted to get into my meeting.  The last 10 hours or so have taught me quite a bit, from the herding incident on through interactions with other people in support groups and other bloggers that I follow.  Perhaps I’m still slightly off in my mental state but all in all I’m in an incredibly serene mood!  Ordinarily at this point after tossing and turning so much I would be grinding my teeth with anger at my insomnia.  Right now I’m incredibly content to reflect on the day and return to my snuggle bear.