Sleep evades me tonight as my neighbors are arguing, a rarity for them as this is only the second time I’ve heard them argue since I’ve moved here. They have always had a really good relationship and are a tight knit family so this is slightly unsettling for me when they do fight. He has been working 70 hours a week for the past two weeks so I can understand the stressors there.
I also know he decided to cut out to a bar this evening and she was trying to convince him to let her get him an Uber. I haven’t looked to see if his truck is outside honestly. Both are former addicts and she is an alcoholic in a depression so I can understand the stressors. And while the lack of sleep is a mild annoyance all I have today is a visit to the vet and a visit from my uncle so it’s not really a huge ordeal.
Is my silence just another self destructive trait?
The interesting part is my thoughts on the whole thing, did I not argue enough in my marriage? Did I bottle things up to in a manner that was detrimental? I’ve always had a propensity to be passive aggressive often to extremes. Is my silence just another self destructive trait? Is there a connection between this and my alcoholism? Drinking to *numb* my feelings and shut the world out. I took a torch to any semblance of success, set fire to all my bridges, self destructing like a true professional. I’ve read before that arguments within reason are part of healthy relationships, and I failed to communicate in a big way over the years.
Just some thought’s