So bear with me I’m posting from my phone, I sit surrounded by boxes of clothing and paperwork and trinkets sorting through and throwing away and building massive give away piles.
Sometimes something hits me, remembering a past that seems now long ago or a person even a dog that I lost along the way. What of this do I keep and what to let go? How many more pictures can I hang before I run out of wall?
On the one hand shedding some of this is incredibly freeing but on the other I miss a lot of the past. I will grapple with this most likely for the rest of my life but it’s nice to know I have a few things to reflect and remember over.
Years ago in October I had a mentor pass away in a boating accident, I came across the news clipping last night along with custom tee shirts a friend made with his picture and the word “hero”, I came across a tee shirt a dear friend gave me with nothing but a picture of a chair on it. So many things I drag around and yes I suppose it’s time to let some go.
My precious Akita’s ashes still sit by my bedside the dog I worshipped (she was amazing) various cards from the love of my life and stuffed animals, etc from my K that I hold dear. Pictures and even funeral programs it has been an adventure.
I have charechatures from 8 years old on to a more recent 25 ish (well not all that recent I guess). Box stamps from a former employer, hats, pens and notepads, all manner of random shit that I think we all tend to drag around.
My question is such, do I desperately cling to these pasts or move on? Do I do a combination of both?
I think that in the coming days I might actually finally spread my pups ashes and play guitar in honor of my lost mentor. I would view these as the best way to honor both. And my beloved Soja pup will have a bag of haribo gummy bears to keep her company (she loved gummy bears).
I will sort my paperwork and keep that which is truly dear (I have a happy one month anniversary card still) and the rest who knows.
The interesting thought is that I have gone through much of my life absolutely blind to the blessings I have been given through those around me. My family my K my pup and many friends and customers.
I had a good run but I don’t think I’m ready to give up yet!